Maribeth Barber Albritton

(*dusts off the blog, pulls up a comfy chair, and sits down with a long, long sigh*)

Hello again, dear friends. When I last posted in…(*checks*)…mid-March, I did NOT intend to fall of the face of the blogosphere–nor did I intend to drop my poor little once-monthly-now-quarterly newsletter like a hot potato!

Life got in the way. Or rather, life found a way. Literally. Because about a week and a half after I posted “The One Where I Talk About Outlander,” I took a pregnancy test at 6 AM on a Tuesday morning…and scared my poor sleeping husband to death by screaming his name when the test gave me a bold positive in a matter of 10 seconds.

If you’ve been following me on Instagram, of course, this really isn’t news–but it is the first time I’ve posted anything about Baby Molly on my own website, and that’s quite a joyous occasion! Casey and I didn’t announce her existence until I was safely through the first trimester, so I wouldn’t have blogged about her for a while anyway. But I was also so sick and exhausted for the first 10 weeks, writing anything felt like an impossible task.

Now, however, I am well into my second trimester (21 weeks tomorrow!) and feeling like a normal human again…minus the fact that I’ve got a rapidly expanding belly, achy joints, and another person living and growing inside me! Even as I write this, she’s kicking so vigorously that I can see my belly jumping beneath my dress. I can count on her throwing a dance party every day between 9 and 10 AM, again between 2 and 3 PM, and at night while Casey and I watch episodes of Good Mythical Morning.

Can I just sing Casey’s praises for a minute? He has been so incredibly good to me and for me. I knew that even while we were dating and engaged, but his servant’s heart, his smile, his kindness, and his fierce protectiveness of me and of others have made me fall even more in love with him over the last almost-10 months since we married. (On a more humorous note, when we get home from church and I’m almost in tears with exhaustion and a craving, he doesn’t mind running to the store to grab my favorite pizza, either. Extra-cheesy and extra-meaty, please.)

He’s going to be such a good daddy, y’all. He’s already planning baby-time at his computer with Molly on his lap so he can introduce her to Celtic Woman’s “Ballroom of Romance.”

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced, besides morning sickness, has been the way my body has changed so much in the past 5 months. I’ll be honest: my weight and physical appearance have been two of my biggest insecurities ever since I was a teenager. Mean, taunting comments about either tend to shake my confidence, given the fact that I’ve spent years working really hard to lose weight, make myself look my age, and figure out which diet fits me, my lifestyle, and my large-boned, 5’2 stature the best.

I was the thinnest I’ve ever been when Casey and I married. Watching my pregnant body pack on the pounds has been downright hard. But I’m trying to divert the energy that I’ve spent fretting (and sometimes crying bitterly) over the scales towards a new mindset. My body is changing because it is a ROCKSTAR. It has singlehandedly manufactured a whole new organ (really proud of that placenta), it’s providing a warm cozy home for Baby Molly, and it’s already preparing to bring her safely into the world AND feed her once she’s here! I still do my best to eat healthy for both my sake and Molly’s. But for both our sakes, I’m also working to reject both the rude comments I receive and the equally nasty voices inside my head.

Besides, my husband thinks I’m a smokin’ hot mama. And his opinion on the subject is the only one that matters 😉

Besides growing a baby and planning a nursery, plenty else occupies me these days! I’m still working as both Director of Media & Communications for The Cultivating Project and Executive Assistant at the C.S. Lewis Foundation, plus helping two other clients (musician Matthew Clark and artist Sarah Haddox) as a virtual assistant. I play piano at one of the churches where Casey serves as pastor. Now that my appetite has returned, I’m back to cooking and baking. We spend much of our free time with either Casey’s family or mine, and we’re staying close and connected with our network of friends back home in Louisiana.

And as far as stories and storytelling go…I’m engrossed in the new, excellent seventh season of Outlander! But I had to show myself some grace and admit that if I can’t grow a baby and write a new story of my own right now, that’s okay. After all, as my dear friend Lancia Smith told me, I’m participating in the opening chapters of Molly’s story.

I do, however, hope to take something I recently saw on Facebook to heart. The post implored young artistic women to not completely forsake their creative pursuits for the sake of housework, because while the chores will never be completely finished, creativity and imagination will keep the fires in your heart and soul alive. I was tempted yesterday afternoon to put off starting this post and fold some towels instead. But I remembered that post, took a deep breath, and told myself, The towels can wait.

And so here I am this morning, happy to feel the computer keys beneath my fingers and to see words appearing on the screen that are truly mine. I can’t promise when I’ll be back, exactly…but I do hope it won’t be too long.

There’s a deep joy in writing that I miss. Maybe I’m finding the courage to reclaim it.